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How I Found the Courage to Change and What I’ve Learned Along the Way

This is my story—a candid look at how I discovered sobriety and what the path has meant for me so far. Whether you’re visiting for the first time or have followed my journey before, I invite you to sit back as I share how I found my way to a sober life. Much like a Quentin Tarantino film, my narrative jumps around in time, but it’s the only way I know how to piece together the events that shaped who I am and where I am today.

The Turning Point

My sober date is October 19, 2024. On that day, drunk and desperate, I picked up the phone and called a treatment center. I don’t remember the conversation, but I do remember the aftermath—making arrangements and finally entering treatment at the end of October. That phone call marked the start of a new chapter, though it would take time to realize what that truly meant for me.

Understanding How I Got Here

What led me to that breaking point? I still can’t pinpoint a single reason. I know I’m an alcoholic, and I recognize that I can’t stay sober on my own. My childhood had its challenges, especially as I struggled with my sexuality and kept that hidden for decades. Yet, I don’t blame my upbringing for my drinking. Other factors played a role, including a difficult relationship with my grandmother and later, significant weight gain that led to gastric bypass surgery. While the surgery didn’t create my alcoholism, it certainly accelerated it, teaching me how to keep drinking longer and harder than before. Eventually, I lost the ability to stop on my own.

Consequences and Acceptance

My world shrank as my drinking increased. I stopped socializing, withdrew from family and friends, and poured myself into isolation and alcohol. The consequences piled up: blood clots left me permanently disabled, my marriage failed, and I had to face my role in those outcomes. My ex-wife’s betrayal hurt, but I accepted that my drinking contributed to the problems in our relationship.

Treatment and Humility

Entering treatment, I resisted the lessons I needed to learn. I thought I was better than others because I’d never driven drunk or had a DUI. My facilitators and therapist saw through that façade and called me out. Gradually, I realized I wasn’t unique or special among alcoholics—our stories differ in details but not in essence. That was a hard truth to accept, but it opened the door to true humility and healing.

Growth and Responsibility

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that sobriety isn’t about comparing myself to others or excusing my actions. I had to accept responsibility for my addiction and the harm it caused, even though I may not be to blame for becoming an alcoholic. Genetics, surgery, and life circumstances may have contributed, but I’m responsible for how I handle my recovery. I started this website as a way to hold myself accountable and reflect on my journey, hoping to learn from my past and continue moving forward.

Looking Ahead

So, what’s next for me? The future is uncertain—tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, no matter how cliché that sounds. For now, my focus is on seeking employment, volunteering when I can, treating others with kindness, and continuing to write. These words are for anyone who wants to read them, but above all, they serve as a reminder to myself of how far I’ve come and the work that remains.

My journey to sobriety hasn’t been linear or easy, but it’s been transformative. I share my story not just to help others, but to remind myself that change is possible, responsibility is necessary, and hope is real.