Today, I remind myself that my past decisions were made with the knowledge I had at the time, not with the clarity I have now.
It’s easy to judge myself in hindsight; more on my views about hindsight later. I think about choices that led to pain or struggles and wish I had done things differently. But the truth is, I couldn’t have—I didn’t have today’s perspective or any of the lessons learned.
Criticizing myself for past choices is unfair. Those choices were steps in my journey, bringing both hardship and growth, ultimately leading me here. So, instead of regret, I choose self-compassion. I recognize that I did my best with what I knew. And as I learn more, I do better. So, for today, I let go of shame, honor my past self for their efforts, and move forward with gratitude for my progress.
The saying “hindsight is 20/20” is misleading. During treatment, I learned that second-guessing past decisions with current knowledge is not only unproductive but harmful to mental health and sobriety.
Consider this: by the time you read this, you’ve likely made over five decisions today, such as:
- Getting out of bed.
- Taking a shower.
- Eating breakfast.
- Choosing what to wear.
- Deciding to read this journal entry.
If we reduce each decision to two outcomes, changing just one decision can lead to millions of different possibilities. For example, staying in bed leads to choices like sleeping more or using your phone, each branching into further options.
Dwelling on “what ifs” doesn’t change the past. Acceptance and making amends where necessary are more constructive approaches. Move forward without lamenting over past choices.
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